Introducing…SadEyes!

What person doesn’t make a good story? And what better way to introduce someone than through personal experience with said person? Well, this story just so happens to do both. And a true story concerning this person will demonstrate just how…unusual people can be today.

But first, let me tell you a bit about our character.

The only thing I regret to inform you is that she is completely, utterly, and totally nonfiction and nothing about this story is a lie or even embellished.

Well SadEyes, as we call her, earned her name for a reason. Not only did she always look as if she just adopted a bunch of stray pets only for them to get hit by a car as she left the shelter, but she definitely had the weird little quirks to match. She seems to be quite incapable of just ‘liking’ a guy. No, it’s always an obsession. Maybe it just happens with her because while this is part of many young teenage girls’ lives, nothing in her life could just be simple.

I remember on one specific occasion, as I grew to know her more, in class.

“Can I see your paper?” she asked me.  “I can give you my answers after.”

“Sure, that’s fine.”

At this moment SadEyes breaks out into hysterical laughter. At what, I’m not sure.

“What’s so funny?”

“It’s Little Italy, not SMALL Italy. That answer is WRONG.” SadEyes mocks with her finger pointing at my paper for everyone to see.

As she continued to laugh I couldn’t help but become a bit annoyed. I fling some comment about wanting my paper back and about being sorry not all of us could spend our free time at the library. In response to this she says,

“Well, you may all be out partying, but then you’ll be crying when I’m the one who becomes Valedictorian.”

“Right,” I snapped back, a bit too harshly I suppose, “While we’re all out celebrating life when we graduate, you will be at home writing that speech no one cares about.”

With that answer, a result of my defensive reflexes, the room grew quiet.

“Hm,” Summer contemplated a moment after, “Make it meaningful anyway.”

And with that, SadEyes shut her mouth and gave up on her efforts in cutting me down.

Now, the reason I bring this story up about me specifically is to show my own firsthand experience with the kind of person SadEyes is. She is seemingly insecure about herself, and therefore brings others down. Oh, and one key element I nearly left out of the equation: she is obsessively concentrated on her looks.

 

 

 

 

All of this *points up* is completely true.

And now that we know a bit about our character, I can now share another short story, with the same character, of course, and just as much humor. This is more the story I was building up to.

It happened on New Year’s Eve:  Well, it was only a matter of time before I would arrive at Summer’s for our New Year’s sleepover. I was sitting in the car and watching as each lamp post seemed to pass by. When the lamps became fewer and the streets far less crowded, I knew I was going to turn the corner to her house in a moment.

As my mom pulled to a stop in front of her house, I struggled for a moment with my bag, the bag that seemed so futile to pack in the first place, I always fell asleep in what I was wearing when I stayed at Summer’s, it is just sort of a tradition at our sleepovers. But I digress. I pulled my bag on to my shoulder and walked over to the front door of the house, where I was soon greeted by Summer.  We performed our normal rituals of “Hello” and “How are you” and continued upstairs to her room.

Summer and I now sat at her laptop, talking to those who hadn’t any plans to go out this evening. We talked to Juliette, and found out, to our dismay, that once again, she wasn’t able to hang out. We looked around for other people and soon came to the realization that if we were going to make plans, we shouldn’t have hesitated until the night of to execute them.

Summer took her phone out and she began to flip through numbers until she came to a halt. She looked over inquisitively and showed me the number. I’m not too sure if it was more of a suggestion or a mutual agreement, but we ended up inviting SadEyes to our little gathering.

Now, it is imperative at this point to tell you that we had attempted to invite a few other people before deciding that, although neither of us was too keen on her, we would invite SadEyes to join our group for the night, as we took into consideration the words of our close friend Kent, who at one point mentioned that SadEyes was just that: sad. But oh, how we regret it…

Soon after calling, SadEyes’ mom dropped her off at Summer’s house and we greeted her just like we would any other friend. After going on a brief snack run, we were once again in Summer’s room, only this time we were surrounded by delectable party treats. But, like I said before, nothing about SadEyes could ever be simple.

“If I keep eating these skittles, I am going to get so fat.” SadEyes said, gazing her large, doleful eyes down at the bag.

Summer and I laughed at the observation SadEyes had just made. She woke up every morning, seven AM on the weekends and five AM when we had school, just so she could run and get into shape. There was not one season when she wasn’t involved in a sport. Sometimes, she even went to the gym AFTER her sports practice. So yes, just 198493082409 more skittles, and she would be fat. Alright, perhaps bordering an overweight status.

“Okay, give them to me then.” I said. I am a big fan of skittles. Of depriving myself of snacks at a sleepover? Not so much.

I must admit, that night was probably the most I’d ever seen her eaten, which still isn’t saying much. Not that there is anything wrong with limiting yourself and watching what you eat. But, as strange as it sounds, it can be overdone.

The night proceeded interestingly, to say the least. At some point, we decided to move to the basement floor and bring Summer’s laptop along. We had already been talking to Flathead Madbrows and he was telling us each what he liked/disliked about us. While none of us, well, not Summer and myself at any rate, really cared what he thought, it was entertaining and gave us something to do. However, we soon realized this was a bad idea when it was SadEyes’ turn to be rated.

“My eyes are sunken into the back of my head?” She asked incredulously.

It was all Summer and I could do to keep from laughing as Flathead evaluated her, not knowing she was sitting there, right behind the laptop the entire time.

It took a while to convince her that no opinion of Flathead ever did, nor ever would, matter or, half the time, even made sense. A little bit later, SadEyes decided to show us some cool trick with the laptop.

“Look,” she said tapping a button, “the light flickers when you do this.”

Summer, who was a little hesitant, stared at the black screen as it didn’t flicker back on. Some trick. At least we didn’t have to talk to Flathead anymore. [Summer says:  The button she was pressing is the button that turns the screen off when you close the laptop... Yeah.  Not funny SadEyes...]

The situation regarding SadEyes’ self-consciousness only worsened as we visited a site on which we used the webcam and all tried to fit on the screen. We took turns sitting in the middle, and it was purely coincidental that when it was her time to sit in the middle, guys were no longer messaging.

*Ahem*

The situation, once again, was quite amusing.

We decided to take a break and get nachos, one of the ultimate sleepover snack foods. Summer heated up a delicious concoction of cheese and salsa and we took pleasure in dipping our crispy delights in it. After a few chips, Summer and I noticed something was strange: there were no signs of SadEyes anywhere.

Quietly, we began to search. We walked around her fireplace which leads directly from her kitchen, where we had been snacking, to her living room, where we found SadEyes in a compromising position. That’s right; she was on the ground…doing crunches. She claimed she had “too many chips” and had to watch her weight since she wasn’t going on her run the next day.

You can imagine our reaction: full of laughter, while at the same time, somewhat freaked out that someone, a teenager no less, was lying there in her living room, doing crunches to work off about 4.5 tortilla chips. Oh, and did I forget to mention that the first thing she said when we walked into SUMMER’S living room was,

“Oh, you weren’t supposed to find me!”

Yeah…typical teenage behavior, right? Well, maybe teenagers from our school.

After this little situation occurred, we headed back downstairs, where we continued to mock the oddness of SadEyes’ antics, or what you will. Although it wasn’t quite midnight, SadEyes’, in all her closed-in, locked-up mannerisms, began to nod off.

It was at this point she decided to let us in on a key tidbit of information: she talks in her sleep. You could ask her anything, and she would answer honestly.

“SadEyes,” we began to whisper as she fell asleep, “do you like Kent?”

No coherent response.

“SadEyes?”

“My name is Julie.” SadEyes murmured, only for Summer and I to force ourselves to keep from laughing.

“Um, okay. Julie, do you like Kent? Do you want Kent’s babies?”

“Kent doesn’t love me.” She said in a low, disappointed and sleepy voice.

After about twenty minutes of this, Summer and I decided it was all the entertainment we could bear for the night. We went to sleep, somewhat uncomfortably, as SadEyes, or Julie now I suppose, was occupying much of the room on the bed.

Basically, this concluded one of the strangest sleepovers I had been to. Of course this was thanks to SadEyes. Amusement galore, but not without a price to pay, as we would later find out.

The next day, before we said our goodbyes, we had a little more fun, but, really, that is another story for another time. I will give you a little hint though, it involves prank calls and the true birth of “Julie”, who plays a large part in many of the comical treats that would follow.